The Climb

I can almost see it.
That dream I'm dreaming, but
There's a voice inside my head saying
You'll never reach it
Every step I'm takin'
Every move I make
Feels lost with no direction,
My faith is shakin'
But I gotta keep tryin'
Gotta keep my head held high

There's always gonna be another mountain
I'm always gonna wanna make it move
Always gonna be an uphill battle
Sometimes I'm gonna have to lose
Ain't about how fast I get there
Ain't about what's waitin' on the other side
It's the climb

The struggles I'm facing
The chances I'm taking
Sometimes might knock me down, but
No I'm not breaking
I may not know it, but
These are the moments that
I'm gonna remember most
I've just gotta keep goin', and
I gotta be strong
Just keep pushing on, cause

There's always gonna be another mountain
I'm always gonna wanna make it move
Always gonna be an uphill battle
Sometimes I'm gonna have to lose
Ain't about how fast I get there
Ain't about what's waitin' on the other side
It's the climb

There's always gonna be another mountain
I'm always gonna wanna make it move
Always gonna be an uphill battle
Sometimes I'm gonna have to lose
Ain't about how fast I get there
Ain't about what's waitin' on the other side
It's the climb

Keep on movin'
Keep climbin'
Keep the faith baby
It's all about, it's all about
The climb
Keep the faith, keep your faith, woah

from a senior to a junior

on a very fine day, i chatted with Kak Aila, a senior of mine yang comel dan lincah aksinya. She's gonna be a Senior HO soon :)

suddenly, she said this:
meh akak bg nsht ckit,
da kije nnt, jgn pkir kije je,
ingat diri sendiri kene njoy, ngan fmly n frenz,
baru seimbang dunia.
plus ingat Allah.
HO mmg tough, but datz juz part of life,
not ur whole life,
part je, ingat tu!

the seniors
from L to R: Kak Aila, senior 1 (macam rumet zuha), senior 2, Kak Yatie
p/s: sorry seniors for the names. tak ingat ler :P

a very useful advice. hope that we could remember this easy advice, all the time.


Wassalam.

thursday happiness

Alhamdulillah, thank you Allah for blessing us with life today.
الحمد لله, praise only be to Him, The Almighty God.

Received a text from Dr Shahidi, saying,
Assalamualaikum. All of us will be graduating together this year!!!!!!! :) thanks a lot for the prayers!

Dr. Shahidi
(credits to Faten Aqilah)

Alhamdulillah. Congratulations, Mr New Specialist :)

We do really owe him a lot! He gave extra classes, with no charge, and did not even ask for any reward. I still remember, the moment we had with him; the first short case session, the first long case session, but the best thing is the sarcastic look he gave whenever we performed weird physical examination techniques. haha~ I could still remember, the wise advices; sparing time with family, minum madu, makan kurma (yang ni susah sket laa for me, coz i don't like dates so much), be good doctors because of Allah, don't quit of being HO no matter what and many more. and tak boleh lupa juga, the part yang Dr treat us with pizza hut a day before our paediatrics end posting exam, after helping him with the thesis (we didn't do much, just entering the SPSS data) and yes, dekat D'Lazat jugak. haha~ thanks a lot for those, for taking care of us, and anggap we all macam adik-adik.. really big THANKS for those..

Our last session with Dr. Shahidi
(credits to Che Ku Bahirah)

sekian, Wassalam.

when i was young

attended a wedding few days ago. actually, accompanying Ayah since Mama went for outstation. so, met Ustaz's wife (UW).

UW: ni anak no brapa? (sambil menunjukkan ke arah ku)
Ayah: ni anak no 2. Yang ini sulung (sambil menunjukkan ke arah abangku, Azim). lagi 2 kat rumah, tak mau ikut.
UW: owh... yang mana satu yang pakai macam lelaki, main basikal pusing-pusing taman?
Ayah: yang ini laa..
Me: Monolog dalaman >> Owh God.. dia ni ingat lagi ke kat aku.. hahaha~ kenakalan aku memang terserlah ke? :D
UW: Owh, lainnya.. dulu, pakai baju, perangai semua macam laki.. skang, dah pakai baju kurung..
Ayah: Yelaa.. dulu kecik-kecik.. skarang, dah besar..
Me: (Tersenyum. logiknya, takkan laa aku nak pakai jeans kalau ayah pun pakai baju batik kot.. haihz~) Ayah, mestilah lain kan? dulu, kecik-kecik, mana matang lagi...
Ayah tersenyum je, sambil gelak-gelak kecil... hehe~

When i was young, i used to wear tracksuit and short sleeve. Yelaa.. nak kayuh basikal kan? takkan laa nak pakai baju kurung plak... kang terlekat, baru tau.. haha~

today, ikut ayah, to fetch Aida.. dropped by kat McD. parking keta kat depan post office sementara tunggu Aida (since i was fasting, and Aida wanted McD sangat).. i asked ayah.

Me: Ayah, kenapa dulu Ayah support aina kumpul stamps?
Ayah: Alaa... benda baik.. buat apa nak halang?
Me: Owh... ada je benda yang tak berapa baik, tapi ayah layan je...
Ayah: Ada? (Ayah macam terpinga-pinga)
Me: Ha ah... ala.. dulu, sanggup tolong cari area rumah Ako Mustapha..
Ayah: Alaa.. itu kebetulan je.. sebab ayah nak lalu situ.. (Ayah tersenyum)

hakikatnya, Ayah memang seorang yang supportive, no matter what.

dulu, waktu memula aku cakap, i want to experience, visiting other countries...
so, mula-mula, waktu aku nak pegi Australia lawat Che Tie (she's my room-mate in MRSM Lenggong) dulu, ayah cakap, sure! why not? :)
waktu aku nak pegi Bandung, ayah cakap, kalo 8 hours journey ayah boleh lepaskan, mestilah boleh pegi kat Mai (she's my best friend, met her in MRSM Lenggong) :D

waktu aku final year medical school, aku nak sangat buku Dr. Sheikh Muszaphar with the VCD... Ayah sanggup teman aku pegi amik buku tu kat Seksyen 12, P.J. (kat rumah Ayah Dr. SMS plak tu).. padahal, i can drive by myself.. Ayah cakap, it's ok. Ayah temankan.

hehe~ aku rasa, banyak sangat benda yang Ayah dah buat untuk aku... terlalu banyak... tak larat kot nak tulis satu per satu.. hehe~ i think i am one of the luckiest people in the world. Alhamdulillah. thank you, Allah for sending me a guy who is trying at his best to pleasure me.




sekian, Wassalam.

Praise be to HIM

i cried for the last few days.. bukan hanya kerana takutkan result yang bakal dihadapi, bahkan mengimbau kembali kenangan-kenangan bersama examiners.

i had long case with an external examiner and Prof Kamaliah. i got ALL case. i really don't want this case.. i was hoping for a much easier case, but Allah knows the best for me.. So, He gave me this ALL case.. the problem I faced was not that big enough... except for the prognostic part... the external examiner (a paediatrician, I supposed) asked me, what investigation would you like to do to confirm remission? (something like this). I blurred, but not to keep myself quiet. I just said, I would like to send blood investigation such as Full Blood Count to see for anemic status (a very basic investigation.. actually, i just don't want to keep myself silent).. then, the external repeated the question, so, how do you confirm remission? silent. i just say, Bone Marrow Aspiration. and suddenly, he said, YES! Phew~ leganya... but that was not the end. He added, so, how do you confirm remission? and there we go again. OBVIOUSLY, i didn't know the answer... then, i said, when the blast cells reduce (i've read this somewhere).. ok, he said. but, how many percent? owh ooo... i didn't know... i looked at Prof Kamaliah, and i glanced at Dr Nazri, but knowing that i would get no answer. so, i looked at the external examiner again... i said, 8%?? he said, ALMOST ACCURATE GUESS. it was 5%. OoPss~ (huh! lucky guess, but i wasn't suppose to do that. i just should say, Sorry, Sir. I don't know, instead of saying 8%). hurm.. i regretted a bit. actually, i've read this topic, a long time ago, like 6 weeks ago, and yet, I could recall nothing much... but I'm very very very thankful to Allah, the Almighty.. coz without Him, I wouldn't have the courage to face this... Thank You, Allah :)

as for short cases, I had swelling at the left hand, axillary lump and fibroid.
1) the first case, the Dr asked me, what is the name of tumor that could possibly coming from tendon? urgh~ i tried to recall. i could recall faten's face, telling us, the tumor's name. I could remember nothing. padahal, i really like bone tumors so much before! i couldn't even remember GIANT CELL TUMOR. urgh~ Prof Faisham must be very upset about this. I was in OORU's team when i was in 4th year.. I did enjoy my posting, eventhough the doctors didn't really bother about us (hey, they still noticed our existence, ok! at least~)

2) the axillary lump case. this was the most horrible, as I could appreciate no lump initially. but Alhamdulillah, Allah gave me some hypersensation of the fingers... the horrible part was, when the sarcastic surgeon asked me, the drainage of the axilla, and that was obviously a basic question.. but i only knew, lymph drainage of the breast which will drain to axilla.. i didn't know others! urgh~ i felt like crying, and didn't want to move to the next station.. and luckily, Prof Nora was there. she held me, by my shoulder.. grabbed me to her station..

3) the most calm one.. after leaving this station, i cried hardly. hugged yasmin. and lucky me, she was there, in front of me. to support me. i owe her a lot.

today, went to see the lecturers.. met Prof Nora.. i said, sorry, Prof.. teruk sangat buat short cases hari tu... then, she replied, memang teruk pun... nasib baik lulus jer.. sigh~ terpaksa terima pukulan manja depan semua orang. urgh~ memalukan! and yet, akan jadi sweet memory! Insya Allah, saya akan work harder, Prof :)


Alhamdulillah.. nama sudah pun diumumkan.. bererti, pengajianku sebagai undergrad student sudah pun tamat... segulung ijazah bakal dibawa pulang.. gambar graduasi bakal digantungkan (Ayah, please keep note on this ye! I want my photo, hang up next to yours, mama's or azim's) hehe~

just to quote something from my reading, Nik Nur Madihah said in the book, "Kejayaan ini bukan milikku mutlak. Aku hanya sebuah alat yang telah diusahakan oleh ramai orang: ibu bapa, guru-guru dan teman-teman. Yang pasti, aku adalah alat yakni khalifah Allah yang mempunyai tanggungjawab yang besar untuk `mengotakan' ilmu yang telah dipelajari di jalanNya.


TERIMA KASIH YANG TAK TERHINGGA BUAT SEMUA! HANYA ALLAH YANG MAMPU MEMBALAS JASA BAIK KALIAN :D


sekian, Wassalam.

a good ones!

a friend of mine said: Yang penting study.. Stress ke, ada masalah ke, tak masuk mana ke, takpa... Yang tu letak ke tepi.. Yang penting kita usaha, do'a dan tawakkal.. Mana tahu masa exam nanti, Allah permudahkan.. Apa yang kita baca, kita faham masuk... katanya lagi: Teringat pula zaman2 dulu., masa kita nk pro 1., lebih krg jugak kan situasinya., risau mcm2, stress pn ada., tp alhamdulillah kita berjaya., bkn setakat pro 1 je., Allah dah permudahkan utk kita naik ke thn 2, 3, 4, dan sampai lah sekarang, final year., Mungkin dulu kita pernah terbayang apa kita mampu nak hadapi semua ni., betapa mencabarnya nk menempuh jalan ini., tak dinafikan, among the toughest route., tp bila difikir., ada sebab semua nie berlaku., Allah percaya, Dia yakin kita mampu hadapi semua nie., If Allah is with us, who else dare to against us., believe in ourself, believe in Allah., mesti percaya, nanti kan berjaya... thanks a lot, my friend... rasa smangat tetiba! :)

kata ayah

"Sekarang ini ibarat menghampiri garisan penamat, momentum dikerahkan untuk mendaki puncak kejayaan... Aina tak keseorangan. Ayah & Mama tidak jemu-jemu mengiringi doa, agar kecekalan tidak mudah pudar, dan Insya Allah, gerbang kejayaan menanti pasti..."